Teens face heavy sexual pressure, counselor says
Managing editor
What do teenagers say is the number one issue they face today?
It's sexual pressure, according to Wade Rowatt, the director of the St. Matthews Pastoral Counseling Center in Louisville, Ky.
Melissa Lamm, associate minister to students at Greystone Church in Raleigh, discusses her job with Wade Rowatt. |
"We need to have a strong theology of sex," he said. "God created sex -- not Hugh Hefner."
Rowatt said sex is "an analogy for God's love for us."
Teenagers need a good education program that involves parents, according to Rowatt. "True Love Waits," which stresses abstinence apart from marriage, is a valid program to teach, he said.
Youth ministers need to be brave enough to talk about sex, Rowatt said.
"We need to be direct, but we need to be respectful," he told the youth ministers. "The biggest sin of the persons in this room, including me, is we've been too silent."
Rowatt said sexuality and spirituality are intimately connected.
"Anytime you disconnect them, you're setting yourself up for sin," he said.
Rowatt said other issues facing teenagers are:
Rowatt said he didn't agree with youth leaders who say they try drug so they'll know what it's like.
"I don't know what it's like to die, either, but I don't want to try it," he said.
Group counseling is usually best for substance abusers, according to Rowatt.
Most of the time, parents should discipline either by giving the teenager something positive as a reward or removing something negative as relief, Rowatt said. Less often, parents should discipline through negative means which causes pain or taking away something positive which causes grief, he said.
"Mix them up," he said. "Don't be predictable."
"I'm convinced a lot of kids drink and smoke pot trying to self-medicate depression," he said.
Rowatt said youths need to accept the loss, express their feelings, organize those feelings and then re-organize their memories so they don't feel pain every time they think of the loss.
He said much vocational counseling should guide teenagers to pray and seek a calling from God rather than encouraging them to go after the highest paying jobs.
"God calls us to something we enjoy," he said. "If you have a great voice, you can sell it or you can give it to the Lord."
Young people should be encouraged to participate in church services at times other than youth Sunday, he said. Mission trips should be "high on mission, low on recreation," Rowatt said.
"Research indicates that men who do not have a sister and women who do not have a brother divorce more often," he said.
